The night before I left

Saying Goodbye, or trying to...

We returned to Oaxaca very late and it turned into a strange evening. I wanted to say goodbye properly and take some photos but it didn't work out that way.

Gabriel wasn't there and Gloria realized I was tired and needed a shower, so she got Pati to turn on the hot water heater.

I took a shower and thought I should finish packing, so I was walking around naked in my panties when Gloria came up and gave me a going-away present, a lovely woven shawl. It was really silly and awkward. I didn't know how to hug her or say goodbye naked.

Then I got dressed and went looking for everyone, but they had all gone up to their rooms. I went back in my room and had a good cry, feeling awful and embarrassed and like a big failure for not learning Spanish better. My sadness at leaving, my tiredness, my disappointment at myself -- it all kind of balled up on me at once.

I wrote the Rodriguezes a note of thanks, crying the whole time and went to sleep for a while, until about 2, when the dogs all began to bark at one. I stayed more or less awake for the next 3 hours, listening to the Oaxaca Saturday night sounds of dogs and fiestas and motorcycles.